Archive for October, 2006

Jason, you don’t get it..

October 31, 2006

He wants us to relax la, and find other better things to do, cos jamming is uninteresting and boring. He’s not hurt or what, he just wants to relax, and he wants us to relax as well, and be positive about it. He wants us to learn about how to quit playing in a band, and find better things to do, like being alone, finding new hobbies, have positive thinking, learning to be patient, and not miss jamming at all. 🙂

Gosh, it sounds like so much fun! Can’t wait to try it out. Let’s disband TEG, shall we? It’s gonna be so much fun, and a wonderful learning experience! =D No wait, have to do it slowly, have to be patient. Hmm.. Jason can break his sticks one at a time, maybe about 1 stick per hour. I can start by cutting my strings one at a time too, then continue by throwing my pedals out of the window, then slowly sawing my pedal board into maybe like 10 pieces. Lots of patience is needed. Then we’ll meet up, and punch each other in the face, but at a relaxed pace, at about 1 punch per hour as well. Slowly.. Must relax. Then we shall slowly walk away. Maybe just roll on the road, to relax and take time..

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New bed!

October 31, 2006

Haw, me new Muji bed arrived today! My dad got me new feather pillows and a quilt from ikea too!

The colour combi is a little off, pardon me, dad’s taste for colour is a little questionable :S I’ll be getting a grey bedsheet from ikea for the right combi, hopefully soon.

And here’s my funky cupboard, or shelf, or cupshelf, whatever you wanna call it. My own original idea =D

Since I left all my clothes on top of the cupboard (quite short) the last time I had one, I might as well have a shelf. So yeah.

See how spacious my room is now!

My old bed (or mattress) fits nicely between my new bed and the computer table perfectly! So basically if I pull it out we can roll all over the room =D

What sia.

October 31, 2006

Wants me to learn myself, he says. Wants me to take a break and for once, not over react. Wants me to get a hobby and positive thinking.

Ok loh. You sian of guitar, want to leave only ma. Leave loh.. Relek.. Aiya, why not just disband TEG. Band only what, right? No problems man.. Then I shall find new hobbies, and will be positive about breaking up the band we all took so much effort to build up. What’s a new and nice hobby to pick up.. Hmm.. Maybe screwing around with different club girls every week? Sounds like fun.

Then I’ll go alone, cos I think too much and can’t live alone, so I’ll go clubbing alone. But harder to get laid when going alone leh.. Hmm.. Nevermind.. Don’t think.. Can one.. Just relax..

Then I’ll sell off all my guitar equipment, and use the money to buy booze, drink, relax, and get a nice screw at the end of it all.. Ahh…

Sigh..

October 30, 2006

Once again, the weekend is over. I wouldn’t say it was fruitful, but I wouldn’t say I wasted my time either.

Met up with jason, wan and seok on sat, and sebas today. Had a little fun, but I didn’t enjoy fully cos I was troubled. I hate to enjoy when I’m troubled.

All I know, is that when I go back to office tomorrow, I’ll probably be dead.

Lets just say I didn’t work today (sunday). Why? Cos kena fly aeroplane/kite/bird/lanjiao. So I stayed home most the time, and went out for dinner and drumming with sebas in the evening. I miss having a car to use for the weekend. I feel so lost without one. I can’t work properly, and travelling is retarded (slow).

I could have driven to office today to find work to do, but fuck, no car. By the time I travelled there basically can go home already. And it’s like so far, fucking hell every day I travel there sunday also want me to go there.

And for saturday, also kena fly aeroplane. Cb, I went all the down do BB and waited, called the fella, never pick up, sms, no reply. And I fucking SLEPT under the void deck for almost 1 1/2 hours. Nobody pitied me. But I can’t blame anyone, cos everyone has problems of their own too.

I’ll just face the music tomorrow. That’s going to be my mentality from now. Enjoy my weekend, face the music later. Later things later settle. Even if I work up to standard, I don’t enjoy any form of rest or off. KNNCCB STA&& L** CH%% BO## will always find ways to give me MORE things to do on top of the things I already have to do, taking away any reason whatsoever to ask for time off, because I have not completed any of them, and I have no fucking intention to do so, because he will give me even more things to do after I have completed them. When everybody leaves at 12 or 430, I stay till 6. Work well for september and I will consider giving you your ‘privileges’, he said. Fucking october going to end already and I still book out at 6.

Privileges are basically 1/2 day offs and early book outs for hitting the target on weekends. I hit target also don’t get rest, so I fucking hit for what? I might as well don’t work.

My off should never be considered privileges loh. Fucking work on saturday and sunday, I should be ENTITLED off. Now do you guys know how fucked up my life is?

Talking about life, I realised that I have lost all meaning in life. Some time back, the meaning to life was my band. There were weekends to look forward to. Now that it’s falling apart, there’s no meaning anymore. There’s nothing to look forward to, no more jamming whatsoever. I dread weekends now. And my dear bro fi is happily saying that he’s still on vacation from guitar. Dear fi, whatever you are doing to yourself, affects others too. Please think about it. The world is not just about you. Taking yourself out of an equation doesn’t solve anything, it just makes things worse. Your break from guitar makes me want to kill myself. The only reason I don’t is for my mom and dad. Think about it. We’ve been caring a lot for you, don’t you think you should care about us too?

I’m just waiting to get into trouble so I don’t have to work at this shit place anymore. I’d rather be a storeman or a clerk than be a dog of SB. To my dear staffs and sirs, fuck me, and us up all you want, but at the end of the day, it just shows how much you don’t care. You can want the world, but nothing will happen if you don’t have the 7th core value: Care for soldiers. You have been the worst commanders I’ve ever encountered in my whole life in NS. For all the PCs I’ve been with, from BMT to SISPEC to SPEC 2, they all cared, in some way or another. They’ve put their soldiers before themselves. You put yourself before the soldiers. All of you, selfish bastards. Blame us all you want, but if the upper heirachy is fucked, so will be the men.

I actually wanted to have a short post but it ended up being so long. Mich was saying that they are all very long. But I hope they are entertaining.

Reflect, all of you, on how good your life is now. To all those I work with on weekends, please, don’t make my life miserable. I just want to stay alive.

Try this on, straightjacket feeling
So maybe I won’t be alone

Yay!

October 28, 2006

I’m back to life again, after 1/2 a week of seemingly endless torture. You know, I can never understand why everyone else has so many off days but I don’t seem to get any, and I stay in camp longer than anyone else on a daily basis. Sigh. Oh well, had fun today.

Jason asked me out, and I asked seok and sebas out. Sebas didn’t pick up his phone at first because it was on silent. Jason couldn’t meet us suddenly cos he had to attend ibsen’s dad’s bbq, so I went to meet up with seok 1st. Sebas finally called me back after seeing maybe a million missed calls (maybe 10 or 20 la.) and we decided to have dinner at adam food centre. When me and seok reached adam, the sebas called and said he is not having dinner with us cos he ate at home. Sebas, sebas.. Cos of him I couldn’t try out the gosu food at ghim moh 😦 Anyway, i had dinner with seok, met up with sebas (he took a cab down, at least he has a heart :P), then they came over to my place to chill and play n64. Had fun bashing each other up in various games, heh. Then I did a really stupid thing, I forgot to offer them drinks, and after awhile seok said “Eh i’m going down to get drinks what you all want?” Paisei siaaa…. But in the end I also had nothing to drink at home so me and seok rode out to shell to buy. She’s so funny, she’s scared of riding, and my riding, but she wanted to ride out in the 1st place. Haha.. silly girl.. We then had vodka coke, bummed around, played the guitar and recorded kiss me. We were trying to do an overdub for backup vox when jason arrived. Chilled a bit more, watched seok’s (technically chuan’s) DT Live at Bukodan DVD for a bit, and sent everyone home. That’s the way to chill for the weekend man. If only I didn’t have to work tomorrow and everyone could just stay over.. Damn.. My place really like chalet now, but cannot make too much noise at night only..

By the way, sebas pronounces youtube as you3 tube4. Like maciam scolding someone. Lol.

And my blog title’s still funny. How ah. =
And about mos burger, ok la, she still talks to me. But she thinks i’m as bad as some swine. She didn’t say so herself tho, read it off somewhere.. So, is there a hidden agenda? Some plan of hers? I dunno..

Kan sian.

October 26, 2006

Fuck man. I typed an entry on tuesday. A really long one about the long weekend. And someone at blogger must have been masturbating all over the servers as there was tremendous lag and I couldn’t post. I copied the whole chunk into a notepad, and now I lost it. CB.

Anyway, the past few days have been damn sian, maybe besides last night, when i went to chill with sebas at this nice bar near my place. It’s called bullfrog, it’s damn chill, and the drinks are cheap. Kilkenny is at $9.80 a pint from 4-9pm. A pity they don’t have erdinger. We chatted up with a waitress there called siti, who we thought was chinese. Her pseudo accent ah.. CMI. Sebas got turned off after he knew she was malay and only 1/4 chinese. Bloody racist. Later saufi kill you then you know. We also debated about fate, felt like i’m back in poly for that moment. We’re also gonna work a little project, making electronic music, somewhere along the lines of Postal Service, working directly from home. We decided to pull in seoky to do vox for us, which she willingly obliged. Yay! Now sebas has to do research on beat machines and shit. Good luck.

Life has been boring this week, meaningless maybe. Day to day, go to camp, nothing much to look forward to at home, want to play guitar also reach home too late (considering the volume i play at), nobody’s online, nobody’s free, weekend also nothing to look forward to, cos the band is in some sort of a lull period now, PSP also lazy to play cos I suck at games, and I’m too hum/tired to bring it to camp cos i scared kena check or i’ll just sleep all the way on the bus..

Sian.

Yea. That’s what i feel now. Sian. Damn fucking sian.

2 more months to swift sport.. When oh when will january come? When oh when will i get to see my white beauty?

You know, sometimes, I wonder why I went down to mos burger that day. I went down cos I wanted to see her. Because of that want, it led to a series of events that made her not even want to talk to me anymore. Cos I’m a bastard in her eyes. I probably am.

I hate myself.
I lost a good friend. Just like that.
Even if I can never be with her, we could at least be good friends.
I’ve lost that, even.
And with that, I also lost another potential good friend.

Wtf are you doing yk??

Anyway, since my blog title was so funny, I guess I shall change it. Lets see if it’s nice.

Blogger has been slow

October 23, 2006

So I have not been posting. Anyway, things have been getting better. I went out with jason yesterday to buy his spanking new creative mp3 player. It’s a ZEN V Plus, with 2GB of space, a built in FM tuner and the ability to play videos. It’s extremely easy to use, with many useful functions, and it’s a million times better than the LE-MON ipod nano clone we saw at Giant, which could not even be used properly due to the crap response time of the device. Thankfully I was sharp enough to notice the tiny little fella, and knew instantly it was special. The salesperson didn’t even know how to sell the thing to us, and was stating how lousy it was and how frequently it crashes, and was trying to sell to us some other ridiculous MP3 player that didn’t even have a colour screen, and didn’t even have enough power for us to try.

We also managed to talk to fi yesterday, and the problems have more or less been settled. Things are not settled 100% as of yet as we need to know what fi is thinking, and that has to wait till the day when everyone is free AND he’s willing to tell, which will probably be in a long time. Anyway, TEG is going to take a short break, and shall concentrate on this:

Yes, I have revived my old N64! In a very ghetto way, but it works! The white thing below the n64 is a device for me to run games I’ve downloaded online, via the CD drive. Meaning, free, unlimited games! Haw! The power adapter for it was fried so I went to SLS with sebas the other day to buy a replacement. It’s a little big, and I had to wire it up myself, but it works. The CD drive was fried too so I changed it for a spare CD writer I had lying around. It was sprayed black and the LED was changed to blue, both by me, back at a time when I was still into case mods. Sebas and I had a really good time playing mario tennis and super smash brothers, can’t wait for the rest of TEG to try. It will be a great form of therapy for our band!

You completely missed the point

October 21, 2006

I believe I have the every right and reason to cling dearly to the memories of the past that led to the close friendship we have today. The days where I wasn’t even playing the guitar yet. The days where we were all roadies. How we worked like dogs to get miserable pay to buy our guitars. What’s wrong with clinging on to our closely forged companionship? I believe the memories we’ve had and the shit we’ve been thru were more than just perspectives. I look deep and I see of all the things me, jason and fi went thru, since the day we started playing counter strike together in the atrium every day. The teriyaki sandwiches we ate every day at the atrium. The 14 pratas me and fi gulped down 10 minutes before class. The gatherings at canteen 2 where we drank kopi peng and philosophised about the world. Then I see the shit you’re putting fi through. The way you see our band, our family. This is why we don’t welcome you back.

No time is only an excuse. You think you are the only one busy? Can anyone in the band be busier than me? And yet I can still find time to talk to everyone, even if it’s for a quick supper after work, or on the phone on the way home, or on msn once I reach home. Msn is an impersonal mean? Then why can the rest of TEG communicate through it, and not you? At least we try to squeeze every little second of our time out of our busy schedule to talk to each other, to know what’s going on, even if it has to be msn. And msn has been the very way we communicate and understand each other for the longest time, way before we even started jamming. It’s clear cut, we bother, we care.

You didn’t do anything to fuck the band up? You didn’t directly fuck us up. You fucked someone up in the band which indirectly fucked the whole band up. Things you said after the whole thing fucked us up further. Everyone is upset. You don’t know, or don’t care. You blame others. Before you blame anyone again, have you talked to any one of us to know how we feel, besides fi? TEG is not just fi alone you know. There are 3 other members.

And you and your bullshit about bringing the band this far. I’ve never wanted to pursue it but since now that you want to bring it up, I’ll give it to you. What have you done to improve on our skill? Our tightness? Our chemistry? Have you made jason play on timing and get the band to play together? Have you made sure wan nails every single note on beat with jason? Have you made sure the 2 guitarists play every single riff and solo well, and harmonise in tune? How well we play has been the hard work, effort and passion of every single individual in the band. You alone brought us this far? Think again.

Next, I don’t think we are anywhere. Playing at 2 gigs doesn’t make us god. We are nothing. Gigs? Contacts? Fuck, you only got us 2 gigs. Through kx. And you think kx only knows you? I’m not interested about gigs, or fame. I play music for the music and the for the togetherness of my band. When we get a gig, all I think about is that I’m there to entertain the crowd with my best pals and make them feel as good as what I’m feeling when I play. I was invited by a friend, and I shall not let him or his audience down. Scene? Contacts? What scene, what contacts? Who actually knows us, and supports us, besides our own personal friends?

Seriously, who wants to play with you? I don’t want to bother with a person that screws with the band’s chemistry, one who thinks that she’s almighty and all important. By the way, everyone who saw our gig video said we needed a new singer. So much for standing out and being associated with the band. Once again don’t think too highly of yourself. We aren’t maimed or handicapped. This ordeal is just going to bring us closer. Far from being handicapped. Good riddance to bad rubbish?

And of course there are other bands dying to have you in their band. Sex sells. And of course we don’t have singers dying to join us. The songs we play aren’t easy to sing.

Last of all, I created this blog for me to reflect my feelings. Not to flame people. You were the very person in my mind I was pissed at while I was reflecting, that’s why the post came out that way. You think I want to fight with you? I’m not so boliao loh. You can flame me back all you want. You have proven my point. Once again, if you haven’t realised, TEG is more than just a band. It’s a group of closest friends. And you’re not invited.

October 20, 2006

[01:15:47] [sanxp] says:
the band is supposed to be for us to chill after every week
[01:15:58] [sanxp] says:
to unravel, to talk to each other, and just play our hearts out
[01:16:12] [sanxp] says:
not another burden in our already burdened life

Thank you for fucking up our band. It was really nice of you to. Your recklessness is causing the pain of 4 guys. Well done. Selfish? You bet.

October 19, 2006

Dude, remember, the days where we hung out to play guitar, playing guitar in school, playing phantom at the underground tunnel at esplanade, playing at my place, playing at your place, screwing up seok’s song, buying our electric guitars together, chilling out, thinking of what to do with our band, going to jam, forming up our band, all these shit

before SHE came along

Don’t tell me you’re thinking of quitting now because of her. I’m not going to accept it. I’m not going to accept you saying or thinking that SHE was YOUR drive in playing the guitar, and not me, your best friend, or the band, your closest buddies. She should NEVER be in the equation at all. Honestly, she did not do *ANYTHING* for your playing. She was just your girlfriend. Ya, you might have played for her, or with her, and it was really sweet of you, but it’s OVER now. Think back to your roots. Think back to the guys. Your brothers. Us. We were called Us. Before all these shit. We had fun. We still can.

Honestly, I regret it now. I regret it so much, that I knew her, that I pulled her into the band, that I let her break up with me to be with fi.

Anyway, I have decided. I disagree with her joining back with the band. I was the only one that was alright with her coming back. I changed my mind. “I would join you guys back without any hesitation, if you guys ever asked.” You think too highly of yourself. “..you guys are moving on and searching for others instead of me.” Instead of you? Once again, you think too highly of yourself.

Before you think of something rash to respond to that, think about this. Have you talked to us about this. Have you respected us enough as friends or bandmates to discuss with us what is going on between you and fi.